{"id":259,"date":"2016-07-28T11:35:11","date_gmt":"2016-07-28T10:35:11","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/idea.jayfitzsimmons.com\/?p=259"},"modified":"2016-07-28T11:35:11","modified_gmt":"2016-07-28T10:35:11","slug":"ideas-july-28th-2016","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ideas.jayfitzsimmons.com\/?p=259","title":{"rendered":"Ideas – July 28th 2016."},"content":{"rendered":"
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  1. All doors are to be lined with metal and opening the door starts a large capacitor charging up. If you go through the door like a normal person then the capacitor will discharge harmlessly. However, if you stand there holding it open while nattering like an idiot, you get a shock with sufficient power to cause a healthy adult to soil themselves.<\/li>\n
  2. Camels that over-react to everything: Dramaderies<\/li>\n
  3. Umbrella that looks like half an eyeball<\/li>\n
  4. Frozen cider in a glass with 4 or 5 hollows in it. Fill the hollows with various shots, cover the top with a layer of high proof spirits, set on fire, wait for ice to melt a bit, put out fire, drink.<\/li>\n
  5. Bed that does yoga on you while you sleep<\/li>\n
  6. Chocolate fist. Use it to punch a wall, it shatters. It’s hollow and full of sweets which fly everywhere.<\/li>\n
  7. How thick would a chocolate teapot have to be in order to get a decent brew out of it before it melted?<\/li>\n
  8. Crownberries. Brand name for really fancy cranberries<\/li>\n
  9. Frankfurter inside a bratwurst inside a salami.<\/li>\n
  10. Big square pizza. Put hamburgers along one edge, then a row of onion rings, then chips. Then roll the whole thing up tight, starting with the burger side. Slice and serve.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    All doors are to be lined with metal and opening the door starts a large capacitor charging up. If you go through the door like a normal person then the capacitor will discharge harmlessly. However, if you stand there holding it open while nattering like an idiot, you get a shock with sufficient power to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-259","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-idea"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ideas.jayfitzsimmons.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/259","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ideas.jayfitzsimmons.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ideas.jayfitzsimmons.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ideas.jayfitzsimmons.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ideas.jayfitzsimmons.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=259"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/ideas.jayfitzsimmons.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/259\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ideas.jayfitzsimmons.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=259"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ideas.jayfitzsimmons.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=259"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ideas.jayfitzsimmons.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=259"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}