{"id":586,"date":"2018-06-09T08:58:33","date_gmt":"2018-06-09T07:58:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/idea.jayfitzsimmons.com\/?p=586"},"modified":"2018-06-09T08:58:33","modified_gmt":"2018-06-09T07:58:33","slug":"ideas-june-9th-2018","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ideas.jayfitzsimmons.com\/?p=586","title":{"rendered":"Ideas – June 9th 2018"},"content":{"rendered":"
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  1. Offences that will require re-education when I’m king #276: Standing in a doorway, holding the door open while having a conversation with someone, thus having to move out of the way to let someone through the door<\/li>\n
  2. Double re-education if you then move back to the doorway blocking position<\/li>\n
  3. Triple re-education if you’re not holding the door open, you’re standing on one side of the door, but you’re holding the handle, thus causing a struggle when someone comes along and wants to open the door<\/li>\n
  4. Quadruple re-education if\u00a0 do any of these despite being fully aware that particular door sets off an alarm if it is open for more than 60 seconds.<\/li>\n
  5. Re-education if you park your bike in a bike rack and lock it in such a way that it takes up two spaces.<\/li>\n
  6. Double re-education if that bike rack is already inside a building or garage that’s locked with restricted access<\/li>\n
  7. Re-education if you send an email with a subject line that starts “RE: ” and it’s not a reply<\/li>\n
  8. To tell the difference between wasps and bees: If it’s got fuzz, let it buzz. If it’s smooth, you better move<\/li>\n
  9. Trans lady referred to as an ex-man, gets mistaken for one of Professors X’s X-men, hilarity ensues<\/li>\n
  10. Door\u00a0step that plays heavy electronic beats as you enter or exit your house. Dub-step<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Offences that will require re-education when I’m king #276: Standing in a doorway, holding the door open while having a conversation with someone, thus having to move out of the way to let someone through the door Double re-education if you then move back to the doorway blocking position Triple re-education if you’re not holding […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-586","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-idea"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ideas.jayfitzsimmons.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/586","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ideas.jayfitzsimmons.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ideas.jayfitzsimmons.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ideas.jayfitzsimmons.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ideas.jayfitzsimmons.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=586"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/ideas.jayfitzsimmons.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/586\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ideas.jayfitzsimmons.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=586"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ideas.jayfitzsimmons.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=586"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ideas.jayfitzsimmons.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=586"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}