Author: admiral

Frying pan with a handle that can be moved around to the other side Flying buttresses made of butter Masticating mafia. Like hungry hippos but with mafia dons Bonsai tree hats App that adjust the airconditioning based on your heart rate Shepards pie but with curry Tea biscuits. Start with milk biscuits, add tea Cow…

Exercise equipment that shouts motivational slogans and encouragement Extra long skis for horses Slow cook chicken in rum sauce Elections decided by whichever candidate can remember most constituents names Politimon – Turn election posters into pokemon cards Edible jewellry that looks nice and can give you a bit of a boost if you’re flagging on…

Darth vader ice lollies, cola flavour Emoji fingerprints Grumpy impressionist painter called Moanay Expressionist painter who is mad keen on making pancakes, called Turner Impressionist painter who will get your motor started if it breaks down, called Van go Classical music themed BBQ joint, BarBachQue Use a bowl when making trifle to make the jelly concave…

Theme pub: Admiral AckBar App: Detects if a smell is at a level where you can politely comment on it Time travelling pirate movie Yo sushi! but with indian food Cobble streets in the arctic circle with frozen lemons and limes Horses that patrol the streets carrying urns of tea Hover jets that work by pulling…

A smell that is the inverse of poo so they cancel each other out An app that tells you if you’re in space or not King of kings movie trilogy retelling Heroditus story of Cyrus and his sons An app that tells you what sort of app you need Slow exposure photographs of disco balls…

Detective story: Who murdered Little Miss Muffet Morning checklist: before you leave the house Controlling a game via fitbit/heart rate monitor On safari with Tony the tiger Persuade the Pope to front a punk band Raspberry ripple bananas Online medical advice that doesn’t give you the fear If there’s a Quasimodo, is there an Actualmodo?…

Plank app that uses the spirit-level function in your phone to tell you if you’re in the correct position Site that explains what all the bits on a swiss army knife are for “Run to the moon” crowdsourced relay marathon A timer app that can alternate different sounds at intervals (helps keep track of how…

A notice at the start of a movie telling you if there is a post-credits scene or not Batman V Superman: Underpants edition. Same movie but batman and superman have cgi underwear on over their tights Rain map, very precise weather app that tells you where you should walk right now in order to get…

An easy and obvious way to post to personal word press blogs from an app Game: Super Mario pants Don’t supply food in non oven friendly packaging if it needs to go in the oven Have a second secret April Fools day in September. Precise date only known in advance by people with actual funny…

GM sheep to produce naturally coloured wool Tiny bite sized apples that you can eat without getting juice all over your hands Goat hip hop A barcode scanning app to inventory home items, such as a library A website that is no content, just comments. First comment “This is a shit idea for a website”,…