Ideas – June 9th 2018
- Offences that will require re-education when I’m king #276: Standing in a doorway, holding the door open while having a conversation with someone, thus having to move out of the way to let someone through the door
- Double re-education if you then move back to the doorway blocking position
- Triple re-education if you’re not holding the door open, you’re standing on one side of the door, but you’re holding the handle, thus causing a struggle when someone comes along and wants to open the door
- Quadruple re-education if do any of these despite being fully aware that particular door sets off an alarm if it is open for more than 60 seconds.
- Re-education if you park your bike in a bike rack and lock it in such a way that it takes up two spaces.
- Double re-education if that bike rack is already inside a building or garage that’s locked with restricted access
- Re-education if you send an email with a subject line that starts “RE: ” and it’s not a reply
- To tell the difference between wasps and bees: If it’s got fuzz, let it buzz. If it’s smooth, you better move
- Trans lady referred to as an ex-man, gets mistaken for one of Professors X’s X-men, hilarity ensues
- Door step that plays heavy electronic beats as you enter or exit your house. Dub-step