Author: admiral

Why is blue ink standard? Filofox Fox machine Donkey detective Fitbit that measures blood alcohol level and warns you when you’ve had enough Trifle inside a cake Something that can look at your aws config and create a diagram of what goes where Or something that can do the same by looking at terraform config…

People that list an ebay item as costing “99p – £24” and when you actually look at it, the 99p option is just a keyring and the actual item is £24, those people should be shot Ebay to list items in order of maximum price to circumvent the above. Do dolphins get thirsty? Why is…

People outside the US “celebrating” black friday is like hindus giving each other chocolate eggs in April Musical cake, the cake itself plays music which changes as you slice it Can you make a tank out of cake? VR remake of speedball 2 With some sort of shock harness that can actually shake you off…

Disco Stormtrooper Website that just shows random pictures of kittens Jelly rubiks cube Rubiks cube that gets hotter the closer you are to solving it Trans temporal goat Goat coat Quantify: How jolly was roger? Heli-phant. Part elephant, part helicopter Puss-in-boots, but they’re wellies and he’s a farmer. Mittenscarf. Scarf with mittens on the ends

Life sized Big Trak Water from sink in bathroom is used to top up cistern Musical about the solar system with planets as different characters Stripey ketchup Culchy Flash Gordon An app to remind you to wind your neck in periodically An app to determine if a banana is edible based on colour An option…

Word for when you expend more effort avoiding a piece of work than it would to just do the work in the first place. Word for when your colleague is 100% inarguably correct, you just don’t care. Feminist version of He-Man. He-Man is still strong and smart, it’s just that the Sorceress doesn’t actually need…

Jimmy Nesbitt filter: blocks any and all media featuring James Nesbitt Chocolate gloves Weaponised toast Story about a dinosaur (probably a brontosaurus) that slept in and didn’t hatch until medieval times. A young farm girl finds it and adopts it, raising it until it grows to adult size. She eventually uses it to rescue people from…

Dog food that moves A way of taking your shoes and socks off in the office without wierding everyone out. Tea ice lollies Make witches hats fashionable again Service to deliver milk in sufficient quantities and at the right temperature to have a bath. Milk snakes. Like milk bottle sweets, but the size and shape…

Jellyplanes A nose guard to prevent unconscious nose picking Metal coils that your mortician wraps around your joints after death. As you decay, the springs contract and wrap around your bones, keeping your skeleton intact. A climbing gym with a device that makes you forget about the safety harness when you’re halfway up, adding extra…

Bike sails Dogs with giant brains Hyper dense travel omlette Waterproof coat that contracts to a t-shirt when dry Elephants on skis Ship propelled by lowering farting crewmembers over the side Person gets sent 20 years into the past, tries to blend in to his old life and hide the fact that he’s 20 years…