Author: admiral

Mini roller to evenly squeeze toothpaste tubes Harry Potter spin off set in the east end with cockney gangster wizards Waspworld. Like Westworld, but with wasps. Official Heinz branded bean bags Steam train that actually looks like a giant kettle. The Tea-rain. Dystopian sci-fi. The world is a wasteland, ravaged by years of war and…

App to export everything from pocket on to a kindle Belt with detachable straps and hooks so you can create an impromptu seat Short stories about Jesus that got edited out of the Bible. Like all the times he got harassed by time travellers, or the time he scored 3 goals in a five a…

Movie about someone assassinating the vice-president. Then assassinating the next one and the next one, until the right person gets the job. Then they assassinate the president. Augmented reality running app featuring 8 bit music. Every so often it will warn you that there’s a jump or something you have to duck under. Will detect…

Padded winter gloves, photorealisticly printed to look like hands Tiny dogs that bark Morse code, used for portable long range communications. Heavy thinking Everybody to get a leaflet on pooping. Containing useful information that nobody wants to talk about such as how to recognise an unhealthy poop and what to do about it. Tips on…

Goggles that keep water out but don’t cut off circulation Game where you have to swim back and forth in a pool while avoiding old people doing breast stroke Hats with a goose neck and head, adding nearly 2 feet to your height. They quack sometimes. Helmet made out of old landline phone handsets Action…

The watcher channel. It’s like reaction videos taken to their logical conclusion. You watch somebody watching somebody else watching somebody else etc. You don’t necessarily get to see who’s watching you or what the other person is watching. Randomly transitions every few minutes. Sometimes you get a clip of puppies playing, bowel surgery, cartoon unicorns…

Pre-pricked sausages Trump-Pence: an obscure 1940s Beano character who could fart small change Trumppence: A useless coin worth 3/4 of a penny Trumppence: An amount of money exactly one penny less than the cost of the thing you want to buy Change the android voice command to respond to “hello, computer” instead of “Ok, google” Inflatable…

Adjustment app for android so you can easily use the navigation buttons with your thumb and use the phone with one hand. (bonus points: app will automatically switch to this mode when you’re on a train and holding on to the rail) A way of readily storing half a banana for when a whole one…

Something to rapidly ripen green bananas Get on the train at the station. While en-route to the airport, you are checked in, scanned and your luggage x-rayed. At the airport, your carriage gets picked up by the plane, thunderbird 2 style, and you fly to your destination. App that can record you talking and then…

When you issue “vagrant destroy ….” command, an ascii godzilla should appear on your screen Option in spotify and that to play tracks in mono when you want to listen with only one ear Some method of treating lobster shells when you cook them so that you can eat the shells Wizards that use github…