Author: admiral

Every Thursday to be international karate day Dynamite dog the disco detective Othello, but with the lead part played by a white actor doing blackface and all the other parts played by black actors doing whiteface, and not even good black/whiteface, like black and white minstrel level. Quentin Tarantinos Macbeth William Shakespeares Pulp Fiction 50/50…

The show “secret helpers” but instead of “sages” it’s just random members of the public who have been sold as “experts” to the person needing advice Nobody has ever gone for a magazine cover photoshoot after a big dinner Toast colour selector, instead of numbers it has pictures of celebrities of various ethnicities As above,…

Batman toy that transforms into the batmobile Readymade meals that come in containers so they can easily be divided into half portions for lunch Review system for other peoples kids so the parents can know if their children are being awful. Only visible to the parents so it doesn’t hurt their future job and/or relationship…

Abolish that extra R in the middle of February And the change Wednesday to Wedensday Word for the manouvere of lifting something out of a holder and giving it a slight throw and catching it in the same hand like you’re Errol Flyn pulling a sword out of a rack before you fight the Sherrif…

The year 2300, world war 6 is into it’s fourth decade, household pets are being drafted. Booby chess. Chess meets buckaroo The real reason Queen Elizabeth never married was because she was a papier mache automaton controlled from inside by a really smart ferret. Cumberland sausage cumberbunds Alien whose head is just a giant eye,…

Banana flavoured jam Give yourself an extra inch of legroom on flights by throwing all the magazines in the overhead bin or down the side of the seat Carry on spying. Sid James plays a window cleaner who filched a crafty sausage roll while cleaning the windows at the Russian embassy, not realising that it…

Meditation apps to have a feature that blocks notifications during meditation, particularly reminders from the app to start meditating Elefart New coffee called an expresso, like an espresso, but it gets shot at you out of a cannon and you have to catch it Spoon on a string that you can use and re-use to…

App that tells you when your trousers are too tight for public decency He-Man transformers (I’m astonished that this hasn’t been done, there are star wars, streetfighter, TMNT and postman bloody pat transformers, but no he-man transformers apart from one that claims to be a skeletor transformer but it’s just some bloke stuck a skull…

the one minute workout, for people that ain’t got time for nuthin’ Tattoos that make you stronger Tattoos on your biceps. The tattooist stretches your skin when doing the tattoo, so it just looks like a blob normally and you don’t get to see the actual picture or message until you workout enough to get…

Figure out how to generate electricity from rain Rural mural Make kale tasty Stabilisers for adult bikes, for when you have to cycle in the snow Route mapping app that takes into account the current wind direction Goat coats, with horns on the hood Due to a loophole in the constitution and a disputed election…