• Ideas – January 17th 2017

  1. KitInBox. Pictures of kittens emailled to you every morning.
  2. Piss in boots. Updated version of the pantomime “puss in boots” boots is an angry drunk and tends to piss in peoples boots.
  3. Rumbo! Like Rambo, but he drinks a lot of rum
  4. Poopy pirate! Like pop-up pirate but the loser gets sprayed with faeces in the end
  5. Hungry hungry hip-hop. Like hungry hungry hippos, except it’s different hip-hop artists instead of hippos and pressing the button to activate the “hippo” will play a little sample, so you can mix tunes while playing the game.
  6. Carmen burrito. An opera singing burrito.
  7. 1000 degree knife: Will it blend?
  8. Drone fights! Each drone has a number of balloons attached. First drone to burst the others balloons wins. Or just one water balloon mounted on top of the drone.
  9. Belly button boggle. Tiny boggle set that fits in your belly button.
  10. Train a small monkey to pilot a drone. Strap the drone to the monkeys back.

• Ideas – January 10th 2017

  1. A gun that shoots baseball bats wrapped in barbed wire
  2. I should just have a subscription for screen protectors for my phone
  3. Toothbrushes that make lightsabre noises
  4. Place where you can just turn up and have a go on various musical instruments.
  5. Walking dead branded cereal bowls that look like open topped zombie heads.
  6. Walking dead branded cereal that looks like mushy brains.
  7. Walking dead branded cereal spoons. Michonnes katana, a shovel and Lucille.
  8. Chocolate firewall
  9. Chocolate bars shaped like cassette tapes sold in old cassette album/single cases.
  10. Chocolate ipod

• Ideas – January 3rd 2017

  1. Get everybody on the planet awake at the same time
  2. Combat monopoly
  3. WH40K musical played by an Orkhestra
  4. Form a band called “Track title” just to appear contrary on spotify
  5. Have new years party at a more sociable hour like 5pm
  6. A rope ladder shaped like the alphabet.
  7. Small firecrackers inside tomatoes. Harmless but very messy when thrown.
  8. Soundproof, lightproof helmet that acts as a head support. Like a mini isolation booth for plane travel.
  9. Rename New York to New Spork, build a 400ft tallk spork in the middle of central park.
  10. Celebrate Tuesday with Chinese food. Call it Chinese Tuesday.

• Ideas – December 30th 2016

  1. A microwave that can selectively target different foods on the same plate
  2. Train painted to look like toothpaste and a tunnel modified to look like a toothpaste tube
  3. Transformers that turn into agricultural machinery. Include one that has little minion bots that turn into bales of hay.
  4. Big square shaggy cushions that look like bales of hay.
  5. Edible farmyard breakfast vignette, weetabix shaped like bales of hay, bacon cut into pig shapes.
  6. Car made of bread.
  7. Tuck a small red berry under your eyelid. When someone asks what’s up with your eye, pop it and freak them the hell out.
  8. Hairybo, like haribo, but hairy.
  9. Screamlextrix. Like scalextrix, but the cars literally scream as they go around the track.
  10. Jarjar Binque. Processed meat shaped like Jar Jar Binks on a skewer. Ideal snack for star wars fans.

• Ideas – December 29th 2016

  1. Anyone that describes prices like “899” as “eight nine nine” to be shot
  2. A way of identifying smells via the internet
  3. Quare Tea. The Northern Irish tea
  4. ExploTea. Tea that crackles
  5. Market your floor cleaning machine as “The vacuum cleaner that sucks”
  6. Vacuum cleaner that looks like a small elephant
  7. Pygmy elephants as housepets
  8. Juggling balls that light up, giving you guidance on when to throw and what direction
  9. Battle anchor. Ships weapon that launches the anchor at another ship
  10. Multi-layered eyeball cake

• Ideas – December 26th 2016

  1. A way of quantifying how fucked up a year is. 2016 may seem fucked up, but is it fucked up if viewed objectively?
  2. Coats for bears
  3. Hoodies that look like they’re made from lion and bear skins with the fangs and that still on the hood
  4. Tiny concealed headphones so you can pretend to be politely enjoying somebodies company when you’re really ignoring them
  5. Orange jelly with cream in a pint glass, looks like a pint
  6. Music hands, gloves lined with sensors so each finger gesture plays a different note
  7. 17th century sailing ship gets lost, ends up on an alien planet
  8. Leonardo da vinci invented the smart phone, forgot to invent the cell tower, electricity and the internet
  9. Use that clip of loads of Datas from TNG season 1 (Times squared?) to advertise a mobile plan with “unlimited data”
  10. Slippers with slots for bread so they can make toast and keep your feet warm at the same time

• Ideas – December 25th 2016

  1. New police uniform, actual gorilla suit
  2. The man with marshmallow hands
  3. Jelly filled chocolate bunny
  4. Head hands. Hat with little mechanical hands to hold things near your head. Can also make gestures while your main hands are otherwise occupied.
  5. Worlds largest swiss army knife, contains a JCB and sherman tank
  6. Fingernails painted and shaped to look like a set of dungeons and dragons dice
  7. Bell ninja. Martial arts meets campanology.
  8. Or just dub old kung fu movies with ding dong noises
  9. Train an ostrich to ride a horse
  10. Life sized mechanical manta ray filled with helium

• Ideas – December 24th 2016

  1. Chocolate bank where you can put all your chocolate for safe keeping
  2. Cowboys that ride giant lizards instead of horses
  3. A crown that’s actually a tiny working helicopter
  4. Card trick where the card is revealed to be inside a loaf of bread
  5. Toast with jam on the inside
  6. Cheese with grooves in so you can have cheese and jam sandwiches with evenly distributed jam
  7. Use zeppelins to deliver icebergs to arid regions. The bulk of the zeppelin will shield the iceberg from the sun and stop it melting on the way.
  8. A hat shaped like the saucer section of the enterprise.
  9. Star trek branded arrows with the starfleet boomerang/swoosh/thing as the arrowhead.
  10. Jamfist. Superhero who gains incredible strength by putting his fists in jars of jam and then punching people with them.

• Ideas – December 23rd 2016

  1. Mini roller to evenly squeeze toothpaste tubes
  2. Harry Potter spin off set in the east end with cockney gangster wizards
  3. Waspworld. Like Westworld, but with wasps.
  4. Official Heinz branded bean bags
  5. Steam train that actually looks like a giant kettle. The Tea-rain.
  6. Dystopian sci-fi. The world is a wasteland, ravaged by years of war and ecological disaster. Just as humanity seems on the brink of extinction, the wombles emerge from hiding to guide us to salvation.
  7. A graph to show the amount of daylight on each day of the year with 9am as the median line and an option to switch daylight savings time on and off, this will easily illustrate the spurious benefit of messing with the clocks so you can present this data to parliament and punch them in the face if they still want to mess about with time.
  8. Name all your coins after animals. Goat groats, donkey dimes and turtle tuppence
  9. Make rain illegal on saturdays
  10. A socially acceptable way of telling strangers children to be quiet

• Ideas – November 28th 2016

  1. App to export everything from pocket on to a kindle
  2. Belt with detachable straps and hooks so you can create an impromptu seat
  3. Short stories about Jesus that got edited out of the Bible. Like all the times he got harassed by time travellers, or the time he scored 3 goals in a five a side match against the Romans, or the time he told Satan to fuck off and stop being such a cube
  4. It wasn’t five a side, him and the apostles make up a full team with two subs
  5. Judas scored an own goal
  6. Banana coffee
  7. Banoffee coffee
  8. One of those side-scrolling games where you have to fly through a cave at great speed, possibly shooting things. The shape of the cave is actually the waveform of whatever tune you’re playing at the time.
  9. Office camo gear. Ghilli suit covered in post-its. Rifle painted to blend in with photocopier.
  10. LE-Dice. Dice with piezo-electric cells. When you throw them, the spots light up.