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- People outside the US “celebrating” black friday is like hindus giving each other chocolate eggs in April
- Musical cake, the cake itself plays music which changes as you slice it
- Can you make a tank out of cake?
- VR remake of speedball 2
- With some sort of shock harness that can actually shake you off your feet
- Octopus with freddy kruger gloves
- What happens if you fill a claymore mine with jelly?
- How much ice cream would it take to stop a bullet?
- Explain yourself: a tv show in which “modern” artists are forced to explain their work to a group of non-arty people
- Would you like a cup of tea?: A tv show in which contestansts have to make a cup of tea under adverse conditions, EG Blindfold, via remote drone and having to rely on sight to tell which brown powder is tea, while being shot with paintballs
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- Disco Stormtrooper
- Website that just shows random pictures of kittens
- Jelly rubiks cube
- Rubiks cube that gets hotter the closer you are to solving it
- Trans temporal goat
- Goat coat
- Quantify: How jolly was roger?
- Heli-phant. Part elephant, part helicopter
- Puss-in-boots, but they’re wellies and he’s a farmer.
- Mittenscarf. Scarf with mittens on the ends
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- Life sized Big Trak
- Water from sink in bathroom is used to top up cistern
- Musical about the solar system with planets as different characters
- Stripey ketchup
- Culchy Flash Gordon
- An app to remind you to wind your neck in periodically
- An app to determine if a banana is edible based on colour
- An option to sort apps on phone by “last used time” in order to tell which ones you should delete
- As above but with an algorithim based on “last used time” “disk space used” and “battery usage”
- Jet set Willy: The Movie
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- Word for when you expend more effort avoiding a piece of work than it would to just do the work in the first place.
- Word for when your colleague is 100% inarguably correct, you just don’t care.
- Feminist version of He-Man. He-Man is still strong and smart, it’s just that the Sorceress doesn’t actually need him to save the day.
- All of Skeletors evil machinations are with the ultimate aim of getting into the Sorceresses pants, but she has a very strict rule about not dating guys without faces (which also makes Orko sad)
- Johnny Wilkins- Space ranger. Thinks he’s a little boy dreaming about being a space hero when in reality he was abducted and trained to be an actual space ranger. 20 years later he makes first contact with the now space-faring humans and discovers the truth.
- Turbo-nana
- What’s the point of the daily mail? To outrage the readers or to outrage the people that don’t read it but are outraged that people could get outraged at that sort of thing.
- Bagpuss in battle cats armour.
- Action figures of the gov cabinet members and opposition, also available, house of commons playset with 12 electronic sounds such as “Hear hear” “Would the honourable member please refer to ….” and “You shall feel the mighty power of brexit!!!!!!” (Black rod not included)
- Transparent crocodiles bred by evil supervillain so his enemies can watch themselves being eaten by them.
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- Jimmy Nesbitt filter: blocks any and all media featuring James Nesbitt
- Chocolate gloves
- Weaponised toast
- Story about a dinosaur (probably a brontosaurus) that slept in and didn’t hatch until medieval times. A young farm girl finds it and adopts it, raising it until it grows to adult size. She eventually uses it to rescue people from a nearby city under siege.
- Scalextrix car that’s actually a little sonic the hedgehog with moving legs.
- Edible markers
- Robot potato
- Flamethrower BBQ
- Umbrella with a funnel and a flask that fills with water as it rains.
- Whiteboard marker that doubles as an epi-pen for particularly long meetings
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- Dog food that moves
- A way of taking your shoes and socks off in the office without wierding everyone out.
- Tea ice lollies
- Make witches hats fashionable again
- Service to deliver milk in sufficient quantities and at the right temperature to have a bath.
- Milk snakes. Like milk bottle sweets, but the size and shape of a snake
- Turnip morning star
- Fatbatman. Like batman, but he’s let himself go
- Train surfing. You get a wheel you can balance on and hold on to a rope at the back of the train and try and stay on the rail.
- Train rats to find things lost in sewers
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- Jellyplanes
- A nose guard to prevent unconscious nose picking
- Metal coils that your mortician wraps around your joints after death. As you decay, the springs contract and wrap around your bones, keeping your skeleton intact.
- A climbing gym with a device that makes you forget about the safety harness when you’re halfway up, adding extra motivation to your climb.
- Baby bubble. Put it around your baby so it can scream all it likes without disturbing everyone else.
- Rocket eels.
- Eel man. He’s an eel that sometimes turns into a man. Spends most of his time running around looking for clothes.
- Self ironing shirts.
- Inflatable torso. You plug it into a hairdryer to inflate it, the pressure and the heat then irons the creases out of the shirt you put on it.
- Teledonkey. Donkey with antennae in it’s ears and flatscreen TVs on it’s saddle. Wanders around city centre broadcasting the news.
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- Bike sails
- Dogs with giant brains
- Hyper dense travel omlette
- Waterproof coat that contracts to a t-shirt when dry
- Elephants on skis
- Ship propelled by lowering farting crewmembers over the side
- Person gets sent 20 years into the past, tries to blend in to his old life and hide the fact that he’s 20 years older from his friends. Has no useful future-person information because he never watched the news and didn’t follow sports
- Cognisance comes from the fact that knowing stuff is caused by the cogs rotating in your brain
- Frozen smoke
- Beer javelins
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- Moustache voyager: Repeats of Star Trek – Voyager, but now everybody has moustaches added with cgi
- Comicon cosplay lantern mashups: Green Tornado, Yellow Arrow, Red Lantern
- Blackout pillow. Pillow that wraps around your head, blocking out sound and light while leaving a breathing space.
- Vegan mice. Synthetic mice produced from all vegan products, but with realistic fur and skeleton so you can get that genuine mousey crunch while adhering to your vegan principles.
- Vegan branded bottled water. Like regular bottled water but labelled “Vegan” and “Gluten free” and costs 50% more.
- Rouge nation, when an entire country is painted red.
- Robe nation, when an entire country has just gotten out of the bath.
- Rope nation, a very long thin country.
- Road nation, roads, just roads.
- Rhodes nation, an entire country populated by spikey haired chefs.
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- Wake the wife! Game that uses your computers mic to test noise levels, you have to make as much noise as possible to wake the wife
- Ninja stealth school: as above, but the opposite
- Apple hands, shaped gloves that take the form of apples when you close your fists
- Super trek: starfleet uniform in supermans colours, possibly with cape
- Supertowel: Red beach towel with superman logo, but with elongated corners so it can be easily converted into a cape
- Trainers that look like bananas
- Catapult that launches bananas horizontally, like boomerangs. Bananapult!
- Train caterpillars to deliver mail, everyone will realise that it’s more worthwhile to actually go and talk to people
- Retractable melon
- Auto-clapper. Artificial hand that attaches to your wrist, has a sensor that hears music, analyses the tempo and then claps in time.