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- Tapas restaurants to have pictures of the portions so you have an idea of what you’re actually ordering
- Movie about prisoners that escape disguised as cops, get mistaken for cops, they save christmas and/or hilarity ensues
- Drink that comes in a bottle with a circular flat bit on one side that makes it ideal for spinning, market it towards teenagers
- Glue on fingernails that have two length settings
- Kids tv show about a monkey that becomes a train driver
- The 13th Foot: Film noir detective movie but filmed at ground level so you can only see peoples feet
- The 39 taps: Film noir detective movie but everyone is tap dancing all the time
- Mash potato in play-dough squidgy things
- Twizzards! Action figures of wizards that you twist and they spin around like tops
- One of those electro ab stimulators, but it twitches in time to music or guitar hero
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- App that flashes up chords to play in a random order to give a more realistic practice than just scales up and down. Possibly combine with metronome and fingering for various instruments
- JAMble, two flavours of jam in one jar
- CSI clip, starts with someone saying “we need to analyse this” cue 10 hour montage from every CSI of people analysing, zooming, enhancing and stuff, ends with somebody shrugging and saying “I dunno”
- A device built under your garden path so that you can jack one side of the path up to tip off all the snow
- Grassula. Like Dracula, but he’s covered in grass
- A little bottle shaped like a highwayman wearing a tricorn, depending on which way you tip it, a different sauce comes out. Call it Mix Turpin or Dick Topping or something
- A horror story about a chef who’s blasted by radiation from and exploding microwave and slowly turns into cake
- Sprint sledging where contestants race downhill of a sledge attached to their bum and then sprint to the start of the next sledge track and so on
- Fine mesh skullcap with LEDs can’t be seen under hair when switched off. Flashes to advertise stuff
- Glass bottomed plane
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- Rocket Badger
- Soap claw. Spring loaded claw on a rope for holding soap
- Gloves that translate finger movement to button presses so that it looks like you’re holding an invisible xbox controller
- Brand of green tea in bags called “Little green bag” Could also link with Mr Brown, Orange, Pink, Blonde. Blue might be tricky though
- Basstick/Wubstick?. A staff with built in MP3 player, mini speakers, really bassy ones. Maybe some lights, possibly topped with a disco ball. Could the whole length of the staff be a resonator?
- Use something like a kinect to create paintings by moving your body. Not just a direct correlation as if you had a brush in your hand, but the speed of your movements and direction in 3d space changes the style of the brush or the colour. Also distortions, like if you do a hand wave, it might not “paint over” instead creates a ripple effect on the existing image. As you dance, it creates a painting.
- Hammock chair, suspended from the ceiling, holds you in a comfortable seated position within easy reach of your laptop and stuff
- ASCII gremlins. A whole army of tiny little creatures, like MUSCLE or pokemon, each with names and characteristics, but made up of ASCII, no more than 3 or 4 characters high.
- The mechanical apple, you give it a twist and it “explodes” into segments, each on a little extending chrome arm.
- Sell military surplus from some authentic sounding but fake middle eastern country. Genuine army issue flying carpets. Of course, they’ve had to be decommissioned before they can be passed to civilian hands.
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- A robot programmed to funk
- Magnetic wigs. Run a current through them and the hair changes shape
- Butterflies wings where the powder coating is modified to be magnetic, can be used to store and transfer data
- Butterpunch, gameshow to see who can punch through a wall of butter the fastest. The extra difficult stage has a wall of cheese
- Home security system that uses the feed from cctv cameras to monitor changes in your house and can tell you where you left your keys
- The Crimebler. A super villain that commits climbing related crimes
- Bumble crumble. Apple crumble that’s rich in honey with a honey/biscuit topping.
- App that ties in to your laptop webcam to tell you when you seating posture has drifted away from optimal.
- Enter your name and get a foreign language and a phrase that your name can be used in to make a joke. EG Amanda Hugenkis
- Desert: Chocolate canoes filled with ice cream with biscuit paddlers. You get a little flotilla of them and float them on a lake of warm caramel. You then rescue the paddlers from their melting canoe and eat them.
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- A word to describe a word that sounds completely wrong when pronounced correctly
- Similar to above. You think the person is pronouncing the word wrong, but they’re an expert in that field so you don’t want to correct them.
- Like pokemon but on slices of bread so when you toast it, you can evolve your creatures
- What looks like a ghostly pirate ship is actually the lure of a giant sea beast
- “sea beast” is actually just the successor to “a beast” and “b beast”
- Advertise wallpaper steamer with the opening lines from “Strawberry fields”
- Rantpants: Underswears!
- Smoke alarms that play tunes such as Disco inferno
- Cigarettes that burn down to nothing really quickly so you only get time to take a couple of draws
- Baseball caps with graphic images of exposed brains printed on them
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- Prince tribute act. A giant crab that plays prince tunes. Call it Princer
- Handbags that look like dogs
- Sonic the hedgehog brand circular saw
- A silent microwave oven
- Dark matter and dark energy is parallel universes
- A card game like Gin. In addition to the normal suits and numbers, each card also has a body part on it. If you collect enough parts to assemble a creature then you get to perform the RARRR move and win the game
- Action figures with magnetically detachable limbs
- Grandma gauntlets. Mechanical exo-skeleton hands to help elderly people open jars
- Chains with crocodile clips that dentists use for bibs. Turn them into a fashion accessory for people who want to roll up their trousers into shorts
- Self adhesive over ear headphones
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- Imbue machines with self awareness, so they may still crash but at least they feel as bad about it as you do.
- Maternity/paternity leave for childfree couples. You say, I’m X years old, I have no children and no plans to, if you have one you can produce a doctors letter proving infertility, you then get some bonus holidays. Maybe just half as much as actual maternity/paternity leave but you should get something because you’re less of a drain on the company than someone who has a child and needs the full leave period.
- Better to weigh yourself on the wii than to wee yourself on the way
- Swords with explosive tips
- Time traveller who jumps through time whenever he falls asleep
- The swinging temple with an order of swinging monks. On huge chains suspended in a canyon. Acolytes have to get over sea sickness and develop a good sense of balance.
- The war of the roses, but the leaders of one side are actually possessed by a demon over the generations who is agitating the whole thing
- Plant fresh herbs in parks for public consumption
- Cyborg dragons
- Alexander the alright. Alexander the greats not so great cousin
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- The sundial is the apple watch of it’s day. Doesn’t work without the sun, but if the sun is out, you don’t need it.
- Genetically engineer squid to shoot multicoloured ink
- Boat boots, floating boots with motors
- TV show: Spar sparring. Amateur boxers have to compete while balanced on the boom of a yacht
- TV show: Geriatric geronimo. Jackass for the elderly. Old people perform ridiculous stunts. Serves as an inspiration for other old people
- Urban Turban. It’s a turban, but it has little tiny houses complete with gardens and street lamps
- Goose wars: Flocks of geese compete for territory. Honking contests
- Bumper sticker: Honk if you’re a goose.
- Ultrasonic microphones listen to the tunes made by spiderwebs.
- Honey and pineapple icecream
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- Pomodoro app with ticking
- App/site with pictures of all muscles and exercises you shouldn’t do if they are sore.
- Indian war chief with small leafy plants in headdress instead of feathers. Chief Cressy-horse
- LEDs on ballerinas feet and hands. Slow exposure photos of them dancing in the dark
- Chicken cyclists. Looks funny
- “Chicken” bike race game. Contestants have to race to finish line which is 5 cm away from a cliff edge that drops into sea. Needs some sort of scoring system to ensure they go fast
- Tv show about paintings of comedians. Called “Looking funny”
- CPU pathways in the shape of mystic runes and sigils so computers can cast spells
- Story about people living on a desert island except they’re not people, they’re gnomes and it’s not an island, it’s a coconut.
- CTRL, ALT, DEL tattooed on to middle finger of right hand, index and middle fingers of left hand
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- Electric conducting trees with lamps in them
- Pixies tribute band made up of midgets
- Cross between pokemon and flower fairies. Cards come with seeds to actually grow the plants
- Superglue cameras onto the backs of crabs
- Nightmare fuel: Dollface dolphin
- Tongue tattoos
- Edible clothes in case of emergency
- Strictly come dancing with donkeys
- Rabbit shaped headlights
- Hyper extreme sport: Tonado surfing