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- Star Wars demastered – Star wars sequel trilogy edited to look like it was made in 1977 *
- Mike Pence should have just been called “Vice Pence”
- A powerpoint slide should never have more words than you can write on a post-it with a sharpie
- Salami sword where the blade is concealed inside the salami.
- Meat gloves. Boxing gloves made out of solid meat, possibly even a half rack of ribs for the knuckles
- Dynameat. It’s a sausage, but it has a stick of dynamite inside. Can you cook the sausage before the dynamite goes off?
- Pointless games: Jenga and kerplunk in zero G
- On IM, if a person starts typing and deletes their message twice, they get blocked for half an hour
- Cross between bathroom mat and a towel that’s optimised for standing on while shuffling around the cold tiles.
- Chicken scientists
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- A grabby claw thing, but short enough to fit in a pocket so you can pick things up and put them in a bag without having to wash your hands all the time
- A cozy show about a vicar that murders his congregation and the elaborate ways in which he gets away with it
- Baby on board: Show about a baby that gets elected to be chairperson of the board of a major corporation, with HILARIOUS consequences
- Life for rent: Dystopian sci-fi where all the work is done by robots, so the only thing of value young people can offer are their young bodies, so they rent them out to the elderly elite and the young people have to use the old bodies in the meantime. (it’s a mind-transfer thing)
- Plants in pants
- Ball gown where the dress is actually a large speaker cone and the belt/corset form the magnetic driver
- Mind boggle. It’s like boggle, but instead of a plastic cube, it’s shaped like a brain
- Richard the lionheart, but through a combination of dark magic and medieval surgery, he’s actually part lion
- A guitar adapted so it can be played by an animal with paws, like a lion
- Doll-fins. Fins that you can attach to dolls you already own so you can turn them into mermaids and such
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- Ebay to add a thing that detects when your photos look like crap and tells you to take another one
- Captain Scarlet, but she’s a woman and Scarlett is her first name
- “Pretend that you’re bread” to the tune of L7s “Pretend that you’re dead” sung to a loaf of gluten free bread
- The 3 mus-cat-eers
- App that detects your blood pressure and cuts off the audio on your skype call
- Gluten free breadcrumbs for gluten free birds
- a layer of potato waffles, spread on beans so they fall down the holes, layer of cheese, another layer of waffles, beans, cheese. repeat.
- Ex-pres and vp go into the bodyguard business as Mike Pounce and Donald Thump
- Get one of those grabby claw things and cut it down so you can put it in a pocket and use it to pick up things you don’t want to touch with your hands
- Option to randomly pick an item from an amazon wishlist and have it sent to you so you get a surprise present from yourself
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- Headphones with cooling fans in them
- Fast Funky Ninjas: a trio of crimefighting ninjas in 70s new york who also play funk
- Eminems “My name is” big band cover
- Emulate retro games in VR, but with a giant controller that you have to jump on
- For best results, coordinate with friends
- Patches of cloth with velcro, a giant jigsaw that also becomes a quilt
- A mirror that also projects onto your face so you can do paint by numbers makeup
- Eyelash curling tongs that also apply mascara
- Elections for dogs
- Transparent roof for gazebo in winter
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- 2023: an AI is created to control the Wendys twitter account
- 2028: Wendy achieves sentience
- 2046: Wendy becomes the first female president of the USA
- Will Smiths “Gettin jiggy wit it” but in the style of “Puttin on the ritz” from Young Frankenstein
- Judge Dredd onesie
- Bellingerie: Lingerie that uses the same accentuating and framing techniques as are typically deployed for the bosom and bum, but to make the belly look sexy
- Mask on a stick, so you can put it on someone elses face
- Head mounted auto-tracking jets that can blast streams of air towards anyone without a mask and thus, away from you
- Dating app: When you join, you get shown 100 pictures and you rate them for attractiveness, computer calculates an algorithm for what you find attractive. Also, select a list of hobbies and interests. When the app suggests other people, the only info you get is nickname, age bracket (18-25, 25-35,etc) distance from you, attractiveness (based on your algorithm) and how many interests you have in common (but not which ones) all other info (job, religion, race, gender, sexuality etc) must be gained through conversation with the person)
- Or you could just go full lucky dip “Hey, you live just a few miles away and the app says you’re an 8.5, want to get down to it?”
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- Video recording software that records timelapse but when you press a button it switches to recording at normal speed with audio while you’re recording
- A way to just plug your phone into your laptop and have it log in to all of your MFA things at once
- Guns that fire chips
- When somebody gets shot with them, they bleed ketchup
- The name Bobert
- An actual playable cassette tape that has a slide out USB plug and is full of MP3s
- A large tape reel that has a vinyl record on one side
- Get one of those toy record playing vans with the speaker, put a record on a turntable, put the van on and the van should stay in the same place and play the beat slightly out of sync
- Same, but with two vans
- An 8 track cartridge that’s also a walkman
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- Some sort of bracer or harness so that you can be sitting on the floor with your knees up and your keyboard on your knees and not have to constantly hold it in place
- Every kitchen sink to have three taps “hot”, “cold” and “milk”
- Rewrite the wombles theme to be about the avengers, include the line “captain america, he can remember the time when he wasn’t behind the times”
- A backpack that looks like a monkey, but it can also give hugs
- Competitive jigsawing. Contestants get their photo taken at the start and one round is jigsaws of those photos, but you don’t know whose photo you’re getting
- News programs to be re-titled to “Todays fresh horror”
- They start with a list of celebrities that died the previous day, in order of their IMDB rating
- and end with “and sadly, Piers Morgan is still with us”
- Crocodiles on stilts
- Flute chute
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- Game. Person 1 names an animal, person 2 names the place that animal is, then alternating, eating a food, wearing a thing. Categories become increasingly obscure, listening to music, doing a dance, reading a book, etc until one person blanks or forgets the sequence. The trick is, they all have to rhyme. A baboon, on the moon, eating a macaroon, wearing a pair of loons, listening to keith moon dancing the ?
- A way to see viruses in the air
- An app that checks your vitals and registers if you’re sick or not. If you’re healthy then it signals that and alerts you if you’re getting close to someone that doesn’t have the app or someone that may have been exposed.
- A sculpture made out of noodles, but dropping it in boiling water reveals another form, completing the art
- Blind blokes blaint. A cross between pin the tail on the donkey and paint by numbers
- Online confession, pretty sure you could knock together a bot with a loop of a nodding priest to get the same effect
- The ghost legion. The 54th airborne legion, killed by a traitor en route to berlin in 1945, return from the dead. They see present day USA, realise that’s not what they fought for and try to liberate the country
- Robot Stalin. Upon his death, Stalins brain was saved and put in a robot body. This evolves over time until it’s at the centre of a vast computer network controlling the countries infrastructure and Stalin literally is the state.
- Brokeback mountain but remade with wasps in the lead roles
- A world where the highest form of art is vignettes depicting scenes from classic literature and theatre made with taxidermied rodents
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- The Unvuncable Urn Man
- Dreamja Vu, where you have a dream and it feels like a recurring dream but you’ve never had it before
- Anyone that puts “you can do this online” or “there’s helpful information on our website” on an automated phone message is to be drowned in a barrel of rotten fish
- Remote pub quiz, combine a quiz app, youtube channel and subscription craft beer service to create an “at home” pub quiz on a weekly basis
- Once a decade, the world should just have 3 months off
- 12 angry rabbits
- Competition where you have to eat an entire avocado, get the stone, then hurl the stone at your opponent, first to score a direct hit on the head wins
- VHS and cassette tapes with images printed on the actual tape itself
- Silent disco taken to the next level, everyone gets hazmat suits at the door
- Writing prompt. Man drives to the gates of a womens prison, waits until there’s someone there who doesn’t have someone to pick her up. He offers to marry her and she says yes.
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- Pint glass that limits the rate at which you can drink
- Lynx to bring out a new range to extend Lynx Java. Lynx Golang, C++, Python
- When banks update your terms and conditions, when they send a 10+ page document with the new terms, they should highlight the changes
- Magazines like Doctor Who magazine to have a delayed subscription option, for people who want the content but want to avoid spoilers
- a device that grinds up household plastic so it can be reused in some form of 3d printer
- Alligator taxis
- All neighbouring countries get to vote in your countries election
- A twitter and instagram account called “the most popular account in the world” get millions of followers for this account and hand the keys over to a new person every month
- Youtube channel that just reviews highlighter pens
- Get rid of that first R in February